Disclaimer: The following dead baby jokes are not meant to offend anyone, especially dead babies.
Q: What's funnier than a dead baby?
A: A dead baby in a clown suit Submitted by Doug
Q: What's red, bubbling, and scratching at the window?
A: A baby in a microwave. Submitted by Chris
Q: How do you put a dead baby in a mason jar?
A: With a blender.
Q: How do you remove it?
A: Nachos. Submitted by Deg
Q: How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of your car?
A: Nine. (Trust me on that). Submitted by Dave
Q: What's the difference between my grandmother and a baby?
A: Grandma doesn't die when I f#ck her in the @$$! Submitted by Jesse
Q: What's the best way to stop a baby from crying?
A: With an axe. Submitted by Jesse
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and had sex with it the night before. Submitted by Tom
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a peanut butter cup?
A: A dead baby won't stick to the roof of your mouth. Submitted by Tom
Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint a house?
A: Depends how hard you throw them. Submitted by Tom
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
A: You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline. Submitted by Tom
Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: Take your foot off its head. Submitted by Tom
Q: What's the best part about swinging a dead baby around a tree at 50 mph?
A: Stopping it with a shovel! Submitted by Ben
Q: What's the difference between a thousand dead babies and a Cadillac?
A: I don't have a Cadillac in my garage! Submitted by Ben
Q: What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender?
A: An erection. Submitted by Ben
Q: What's worse than finding 10 dead babies in 1 garbage can?
A: Finding 1 dead baby in 10 garbage cans! Submitted by Randall
Q: What's the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies?
A: You can't unload a truck load of bowling balls with a pitchfork. Submitted by Jesse
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock?
A: You can't f#ck a rock. Submitted by Nick
Q: What's more fun than putting a CD in the microwave?
A: Hitting a dead baby with the microwave. Submitted by Randall
$$$ for College
